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Recovering from Rape

By Renee Strauss LCSW, with Westside Behavioral Care

Most women find they need to heal following a sexual assault. You may be worried about future sexual relations. You may be worried about your safety in general. You may be afraid to tell your sexual partner. Will the rape affect you permanently? Will you be too tense to be sexually responsive in the future? Should you go ahead and pretend nothing happened? Do you want to avoid sex altogether?

Recovering from a sexual assault is an ongoing process, incorporating several issues over time. In addition to the major crisis of the assault itself are the mini crises of dealing with police, a trial, whether and where to get medical attention, how to deal with family and friends, and other issues depending on your background and situation.

Similarly, your method of healing depends on your situation and background. You can reach out to friends and family members or join a peer rape support group. Some find they feel better if they carry on with their normal routines as much as possible. Others find it more helpful to take some time off from work to concentrate on anything to feel better--- warm baths, meditation, listening to favorite music. Treatment choices can also include emergency contraception, therapy, art therapy, online therapy, online support groups, and the learning of new and appropriate coping skills.

You may have been considering seeing a professional counselor or psychotherapist but are not really sure you should. Studies indicate that, untreated, the aftermath of rape can result in more serious psychological problems, i.e., posttraumatic stress disorder and major depression. Unfortunately, at least 50% of rape survivors try to repress memories of the attack under the misguided assumption that you can “forget” about it. This can most commonly result in long-term symptoms including an exaggerated startled response, intrusive thoughts about the rape, and nightmares. With an experienced and supportive therapist you will work through and integrate all the elements of this experience including the suddenness, the arbitrariness, and unpredictability of the event. In addition, concerns that can also be addressed include feelings of loss of control, the affects of rape on your partner, the fear of going out alone, dating, self-image and body image concerns.

Once these issues are worked through over time, a new sense of self-confidence, better coping skills, and higher self-esteem are developed.