Return to Specialty Areas Main page

The most prevalent and influential theory of troubled marriages indicates that people with difficult childhood histories unconsciously choose spouses who replicate these very difficulties. Thus children with one or more alcoholic parents tend to marry alcoholics...and children who have been abused tend to have abusive spouses.

Marriage counseling begins as a process of helping people understand how and why they chose their spouses. This process can be emotionally painful but in and of itself may provide a significant measure of assistance to the marriage.

Understanding alone, however, is not usually sufficient for a successful outcome in marriage therapy. A skilled marriage counselor will add to a couple's hard earned understanding with a series of therapeutic exercises tailored specifically and exactly to their circumstances. Over time, and with enough persistence and effort, this type of marital counseling often improves the relationship significantly.