Troubled Economic Times Afford An Opportunity For Personal Growth by Denver Psychotherapist
Today’s troubled economic times offers a unique opportunity to confront our attitudes toward money and our personal security. When fear of loss hits it resonates our deepest fears. Most people never examine what their beliefs are about money so they emotionally react to their anxieties and act out by overspending, hoarding, or mismanaging. What are the root causes of our stress about our finances anxiety or about possible job losses?
Believing our self worth identity is reflected in what we do, what we own or possess can create enormous anxiety if its vulnerable, lost, or threatened. Our sense of inner security can be based on this shaky and deceptive belief. True inner security is balanced on the foundation of who we are not who we think we are or whom we think others perceive us to be. This desire to get others to believe that if we are successful and have a lot we must be worthwhile. So the real fear is fear I am worthless unless I can prove otherwise.
Biologically we are programmed to seek comfort. Indeed having enough money to pay our bills and maintain provides a certain comfort but its not the basis of our security. Most of us have bought into the idea of the American Dream that was perpetrated some sixty plus years ago to fuel the capitalism society. The idea was generated that if you work hard becoming successful; nice home with white picket fence; nice car etc. then you be happy and secure. Unfortunately this interpretation has created the American Nightmare for many.
So what is the answer to this troubling dilemma? First we begin by asking the right question of what is really important to us and examining our attitudes about what does money mean to us. When can we say enough is enough ? There is an old Chinese curse : May you live long enough to live in interesting times. Well we can all say that this is where we all find ourselves. But how can we change the curse into an opportunity?
Learning to live more simply is open to us all. Having more does not guarantee that we will be happy or feel secure. If you honestly look back you can see that having more and having the illusion of job security did not offer peace or happiness.
Developing better spending habits can actually create a true sense of confidence by living within our means with less. The simple pleasures of life such as spending time with family and friends and taking walks in nature get us connected to something bigger than our self based fears.
Knowing no matter what is happening around us - which we have no control over - we can choose to embrace with awareness the difficulty we are experiencing. Anxiety is the fear of the future which is based on an endless series of what ifs. While we plan for the future we need to engage the present which is the real gift of life. We need to live consciously in the here and now living the adage: Carpe Diem.
On a practical level we can address the question: honestly are we alright now not caught up in imaging some catastrophe in the future. Secondly we can stop watching the moment to moment news flashes that do very little to educate but rather create an addiction to information anxiety. We can read edifying books on people that faced troubled times and created true inspiration.such as Abraham Lincoln. We can lean on our faith which is based on the assurance there is something bigger than us at work in the universe.
Seeking creature comforts is ok but not a true source of security. Instead of exercising our fingers on the remote control or the computer mouse take a walk in solitude or with a friend. Get out of your head and feel more connected to your body. Mindfully spend money rather than creating a general feeling of loss or feeling deprived. Look around at all your possessions you no longer use that just take up space in your home. Gather them up and give them to a charity and notice how good you feel letting go of what you don’t need realizing someone can really use it. This provides a sense of control because we are proactive not simply just reacting.
There’s the story of the Buddha meeting a beggar whom he realized had over many lifetimes been destitute . As he approached the man he offered him a bag of coins. There was one stipulation he must say out loud three times publicly: I don’t want it, and I don’t need it. Obviously this was extremely hard for this man who saw this as immediate relief to his needs and dilemma. However the wisdom of the Buddha saw this man’s problems as much deeper than not having enough money. Finally after considerable urging the man was able to say it three times; “I don’t need it I don’t want it.”
In contrast the elder John D. Rockefeller the multimillionaire was asked by a reporter if he had enough money now in his life and reportedly he said I could use a little more.
So if we dare to examine our attitudes and beliefs about money this education can serve us over a lifetime. Then we might realize that to be happy is not just getting what you want but rather wanting what you have.
For more about Thomas W. Calhoun, PhD and the counseling services he provides for Westside Behavioral Care in Denver, Colorado, please visit our website.
Believing our self worth identity is reflected in what we do, what we own or possess can create enormous anxiety if its vulnerable, lost, or threatened. Our sense of inner security can be based on this shaky and deceptive belief. True inner security is balanced on the foundation of who we are not who we think we are or whom we think others perceive us to be. This desire to get others to believe that if we are successful and have a lot we must be worthwhile. So the real fear is fear I am worthless unless I can prove otherwise.
Biologically we are programmed to seek comfort. Indeed having enough money to pay our bills and maintain provides a certain comfort but its not the basis of our security. Most of us have bought into the idea of the American Dream that was perpetrated some sixty plus years ago to fuel the capitalism society. The idea was generated that if you work hard becoming successful; nice home with white picket fence; nice car etc. then you be happy and secure. Unfortunately this interpretation has created the American Nightmare for many.
So what is the answer to this troubling dilemma? First we begin by asking the right question of what is really important to us and examining our attitudes about what does money mean to us. When can we say enough is enough ? There is an old Chinese curse : May you live long enough to live in interesting times. Well we can all say that this is where we all find ourselves. But how can we change the curse into an opportunity?
Learning to live more simply is open to us all. Having more does not guarantee that we will be happy or feel secure. If you honestly look back you can see that having more and having the illusion of job security did not offer peace or happiness.
Developing better spending habits can actually create a true sense of confidence by living within our means with less. The simple pleasures of life such as spending time with family and friends and taking walks in nature get us connected to something bigger than our self based fears.
Knowing no matter what is happening around us - which we have no control over - we can choose to embrace with awareness the difficulty we are experiencing. Anxiety is the fear of the future which is based on an endless series of what ifs. While we plan for the future we need to engage the present which is the real gift of life. We need to live consciously in the here and now living the adage: Carpe Diem.
On a practical level we can address the question: honestly are we alright now not caught up in imaging some catastrophe in the future. Secondly we can stop watching the moment to moment news flashes that do very little to educate but rather create an addiction to information anxiety. We can read edifying books on people that faced troubled times and created true inspiration.such as Abraham Lincoln. We can lean on our faith which is based on the assurance there is something bigger than us at work in the universe.
Seeking creature comforts is ok but not a true source of security. Instead of exercising our fingers on the remote control or the computer mouse take a walk in solitude or with a friend. Get out of your head and feel more connected to your body. Mindfully spend money rather than creating a general feeling of loss or feeling deprived. Look around at all your possessions you no longer use that just take up space in your home. Gather them up and give them to a charity and notice how good you feel letting go of what you don’t need realizing someone can really use it. This provides a sense of control because we are proactive not simply just reacting.
There’s the story of the Buddha meeting a beggar whom he realized had over many lifetimes been destitute . As he approached the man he offered him a bag of coins. There was one stipulation he must say out loud three times publicly: I don’t want it, and I don’t need it. Obviously this was extremely hard for this man who saw this as immediate relief to his needs and dilemma. However the wisdom of the Buddha saw this man’s problems as much deeper than not having enough money. Finally after considerable urging the man was able to say it three times; “I don’t need it I don’t want it.”
In contrast the elder John D. Rockefeller the multimillionaire was asked by a reporter if he had enough money now in his life and reportedly he said I could use a little more.
So if we dare to examine our attitudes and beliefs about money this education can serve us over a lifetime. Then we might realize that to be happy is not just getting what you want but rather wanting what you have.
For more about Thomas W. Calhoun, PhD and the counseling services he provides for Westside Behavioral Care in Denver, Colorado, please visit our website.
posted by Westside Behavioral Care, Inc. at
11:54 AM
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